Karaoké Freaky Tales Too Short

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

I met this girl

Her name was Joan

She loved the way I rocked on the microphone

When I met Joan

I took her home

She was just like a doggy all on my bone

I met another girl

Her name was Ann

All she wanted was to freak with a man

When I met Ann

I shook her hand

We ended up freakin' by a garbage can

The next young freak

I met was Red

I took her to the house and she gave me head

She likes to freak is all she said

We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed

There's another girl

Her name is Mary

Talk about sex and the girl acts scary

I heard she was freakin' from my homeboy Jerry

Took her to the house and I popped that cherry

Young and tender

Sweet Denise

Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast

I tell you homeboy if you get a piece she'll only start talkin' 'bout signin' a lease

I met this tender

Her name was Lori

An X-rated movie wouldn't tell her story

She had a twin sister

Her name was Lisa

And just like Lori she's a real dick pleaser

My girlfriend's name was Michelle

Her booty was bigger than a tail on a whale

When I freaked Michelle

I freaked her well

Her pussy got hotter than the flames in hell

I G'd this girl

Her name is Tammy

I didn't wanna do it 'cos the bitch was flammy

She had a best friend

Her name was Jane

I pulled her to the side and I spit that game

I met a lot of freaks in my lifespan

Freaked one night with a girl named Pam

The very next day

I saw her with her man

One week passed and I was in her again

I had an old tender

Her name's Janine

She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen

She likes to freak

She's just a fiend

It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans

I want a big freak

Fat and sloppy

I kick on back and I watch her mop me

Two tons of fun

Big Mamma Jamma

A country-girl from Alabama

I met this freak

Her name was Beth

Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death

I was tired as hell

I was drippin' sweat but I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath

Bake and shake us

I met this freak in Vegas

She said her name was Dinah

She was a built little freak from China

I said I don't pimp or gigolo

I'm havin' so much money

I don't need a hoe

You can break yourself but you can't break me

You never met a player like $hort baby

I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo

Took her to my house and we did it on the floor

The girl got freaky and I'll tell you more

She was down on her knees beggin' to blow

She's like another freak named Renée

You get her all alone and she'll make your day

Like Burger King she knows the play

But a freak like Renée you can have it your way

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

I met this girl

Thick as hell

Only sixteen

Said her name was Linell

I took her to my house

I could not wait

Her shit was much tighter than a Century Safe

Let me tell you this since we're talkin' young

I met another girl

Said her name was Yvonne

Always talkin' 'bout havin' fun

Once again at the pad

I had it goin' on

I'm Sir Too $hort

I couldn't be no punk

I'm tryin' to get funky like Female Funk

So when you see me comin' or see me goin'

I keep my money

Let the hoes keep hoein'

I once met a hooker

She did it for free on the Foothill bus number forty-three

All the way in the back she was workin' me

Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat

I met this freak named

Antoinette

Macked on baby like an ice cold vet

Everything she had is what I get

'Cos I'm Too $hort baby

I don't play that shit

I met another freak

Her name was Rita

Baby thought Too $hort just might eat her

I told her like this she could suck my peter

Or either go home 'cos I knew I didn't need her

Scratched her name out my telephone book

Never again took a second look

'Cos the next young freak

Her name was Sharon

She kept lookin' while I kept starin'

Baby came through with my homeboy Darren

Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin'

She never left

He cut out

I know you all know what I'm talkin' about

There's a freak named Shannon

Such a sinner

She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner

Shannon is cool but her mind is gone

One fat rock and it's goin' on

She had another buddy

Came by my place

Thick ass bitch

Said her name was Grace

She walked in the door workin' lace

You shoulda seen that look that was on my face

She's like this tender named Belinda

The homeboys called her

Belinda the Blender

She gave head like she made it up

She was twenty years old with a big round butt

Had a girl looked like Olive Oyl

Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled

When she got mad her blood would boil but I wrapped her all up like aluminum foil

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

These are the tales

The freaky tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

Sugar Delight

Friday night

It's goin' on

Too $hort

Three weeks ago

I met this freak

She followed me around like Mary's sheep

I hid around the corner and when she came

I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name

She said it was Anita

Her man's in Santa Rita

I took her to my house and homeboy I G'd her

Sent her on her way

The very next day

Playboy $hort was ready to play

I bumped into this girl

Her name's Roshawn

We hit the motel and had it goin' on

Holiday Inn 'till the break of dawn

When I took baby home

I freaked her mom

I knew this tender named Shari

I took her to my house and let her freak on me

Baby was a fan

She loved my beat but I wouldn't raise my leg and let her kiss my feet

I met this freak named Yolanda

Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda

I was on top

She was up under

The bed hit the wall and it sounded like thunder

I once had a date with a girl named Kitty

She was so fine with her big fat titties

All night long she was actin' shitty so I macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti

There's another girl

Her name is Rose

I use to ride baby like brand new Vogues

I never saw Rose wearin' clothes

She's a Penthouse pet ready to pose

I was ridin' down the street when I met Janet

Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet

Ass everywhere

I just can't stand it

Tried to palm it but I could not manage

I had this freak

Her name was Bunny

Said I'm the only man who ever called her honey

Everything I did to her was funny

I macked on Bunny and I took her money

Eight tonight

A date with Shirley

She was real short and her hair was curly

If you saw baby you'd like this girlie

She was so fine

I went to get her early

Shirley was freakin' like a girl named Rachel

Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal

She likes to kiss all on my navel

Those are her lips on top of my label

I knew another freak

Her name was Candy

Real big lips and they came in handy

I smooth got worked and it was so dandy

I hooked the broad up with my homeboy Randy

He did me a favor in return

Gave me a lizard

Said her name was Laverne

Baby got tossed then I got on

I grabbed the microphone and started singin' my song

My young homeboy heard me rap and said he had way more freaks than that

So I told him like this

They might be freakin' but boy you never had that T-P-Treatment