Karaoké What About Mouthwash? Trevor Moore

Me and Jesse's cousin went to the Chevron after work

To grab a couple sixers and some beefy jerk

The man behind the counter said he'd like to see ID

I handed him one of a guy who sorta looked like me

He frowned and asked me what was my address

I knew the street but I couldn't quite get the rest

I said I lost my real ID and that we would pay him double

We swore that we weren't cops and that he wouldn't get in trouble

He smiled and said I'm sorry but it's already twelve-O-four and the state says it's too late to sell alcohol anymore

Sadly we went to put back the beer but then a bottle caught my eye and I got an idea

What about mouthwash

What about huffin' paint

You don't need ID to buy it and you can't arrive too late

What about mouthwash

What about smellin' glue

If they say you can't buy liquor then some cough syrup should do

Before we count this night up as a loss what about mouthwash

Sittin' in the truck in the parkin' lot

Underneath the moon and all them stars

We don't need their liquor stores and we don't need their bars

Drinkin' Listerine and tonic and Jesse's cousin sipped a Scope and Coke

A Robitussin Red Bull

Now that shit ain't no joke

But somethin' changed within me at that store

Beer and spirits just don't cut it anymore

The whispers that I hear and the looks that I keep gettin'

When I toast with a Dimetapp daiquiri at a fancy weddin'

And last night a cop pulled me over

Goin' down Ninety-Five South

And he saw the Sherman-Williams all over my nose and mouth

He just looked straight at me with a, a pity in his eyes

Like he just seen the depths of sadness a man can have inside

And the lengths to which he'll go to numb it down for another day

He looked as if he'd cried then just walked away

I watched as he drove off down the interstate

And then I thought to myself

That's another reason this stuff's great

What about mouthwash

What about sniffin' glue

When the police pull you over they ain't sure what to do

What about mouthwash or even hand sanitizer

When they check your glove compartment they won't be none the wiser

Before we count this night up as a loss

Say What about mouthwash

What about mouthwash