Karaoké Delaney's Donkey Val Doonican

Now Delaney had the donkey that everyone admired temporarily lazy and permanently tired

A leg at every corner balancing his head and a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed

Riley slyly said we've underrated it why not train it then they took a rag

They rubbed it, scrubbed it they oiled and embrocated it got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag

There was Riley pushin' it shovin' it, shushin' it

Hogan, Logan and everyone in town

Lined up, attackin' it and shovin' it and smackin' it they might as well have tried to push the town hall down

The donkey was eyein' them openly defyin' them winkin', blinkin' and twistin' out of place

Riley reversin' it everybody cursin' it the day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch they couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch

Delaney lay exhausted hangin' 'round his throat with a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note

Starter, Carter he lined up with the rest of them when it saw them it was willin' then

It raced up, braced up ready for the best of them they started off to cheer it but it changed it's mind again

And there was Riley pushin' it shovin' it, shushin' it

Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw

She started pokin' it and grabbin' it, and chokin' it it kicked her in the bustle and it laughed, hee-hah

The Whigs and conservatives the radical superlatives liberals and tories they hurried to the place

Stood there in unity helpin' the community the day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The crowd began to cheer it then Rafferty, the judge he came up to assist them but still it wouldn't budge

And the jockey who was ridin' it the little John McGee was so thoroughly disgusted that he went and had his tea

Hagan, Fagan were students of psychology swore they'd shift him with some dynamite

They bought it, brought it and without apology the donkey gave a sneeze and blew the whole lot out of sight

And there was Riley pushin' it shovin' it, shushin' it

Hogan, Logan and all the bally crew

Police, and auxiliary the Garrison Artillery the second Enniskillen's and the lifeguards too

They seized it and harried it picked it up and carried it cheered it, steered it to the winnin' place

Then the bookmakers drew aside and they all committed suicide the day Delaney's donkey won the half mile race